i have reached the highest level of ownage
ha!!!my mother got owned by me....that day i was telling her to get new specs for me because mine covers half my face...so she was like you think i print money ar....you try picking up 10 cents on the floor la...see whether you can anot...wah i was like super happy when i heard this sentence and answered her promptly"I PICKED UP A TOTAL OF ONE DOLLAR AND FIVE CENTS IN A WEEK!!"she was speechless..ahahaha she kana OWNED!!!me being the money goddess has finally owned my mother...seriouly everyone should just call me the money goddess...and now as i am typing all these my brother is like farting away(this is so random)wah his fart is diffussing into the air..he should be called fart god..or rather shit dung fart face..remember the story of him soiling his pants....so back to my story...always when i walk down orchard road or like i am at orchard mrt waiting for anthony snatcher MISS JILLIAN GOH ZI YING THE LATER BUG to come...many charity organisation helpers will crowd around me and ask me to donate...dont tell me they do that to you too ok....but really i think i have the cai shen ye face or either i have words like "come to me baby!!my cash flow is like water or something..)written all over my head...and once this guy was like hey you are really pretty do u want to donate...i was like i look pretty everyday haha and said i dont have money(i really dont have)and he walked away with the whatever-i-am-saying-u-are-pretty-because-i-wanna-go-home-soon kinda face...whatever..see i owned him again...
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jillian who always gets own and the desperate donate generously people
jillian is always so nice she always gives in to the please donate generously people..and in the end finds out that she is $10 poorer and ends up being quite cheesed off.......hiaz........now the donte generously people owned her...she always gets own...hope she doesnt reads this...oh ya...renee also...everyday donate...once we were both walking down the bustling roads of orchad road when this happy guy appraoched us to like donate..he thought we were sisters and said i was like the younger one....in actual fact i am older than renee...ok whatever...then he kept on bugging us and that time my funds were extremely low...and renee was like hey lets donate 5 dollars 5 dollars...i was like ok..i mean i cant say no...u donate everything la....my mum gives me so little allowance can....but its ok maybe i am blessed with the gift of ownagity after donating...

chronicals of the cannot start the fire legend
oh ya that day in the science lab...we had to do some crystalisation thinggy...so like we had to do heating...and guess what instead of like trying to light up the fire at the top of the bunsen burner...i kept aiming the fire starter thinggy at the gas hole...forever..i have been doind this since the sec one practical exam...i kept on aiming at the gas hole thinggy...so obviously no fire appeared..i raised up my hand and told myteacher the thinngy was faulty...she ask me to show her how to start the fire..and i did what i previously did...and she gave me a knock on my head...hiaz...so blurr..haha i am going to print some money now..bye and i am going to marry anthony...whoo hoo...

me the money goddess
why do i say so?well because that day during pe lessons....someone dropped 5 cent....no one else saw it except it...i hastily picked it up and placed it into my pocket...i told renee and she said i was cheap skate...i mean like 5 cents can be used to combine with another 5 cents to like buy a fishball lore...so i told her that i hae the cai sen ye face...she was like whatever...fine....so she just wanna whatever me right...the next day...HA!i found a one dollar...it was in the morning when i was walking to school...then i walked to my void deck and i kinda kicked the coin...whao it caught my eye suddenly my melon seed eyes become like a goli(which means marble)...i hurriedly picked it up and the cleaning aunty look at me angrily...i think she must have dropped it while cleaning...i just acted like nothing happened and walked away...haha too bad the money doesnt have a name and finders keepers...i would have given it to her if it were a 50 dollar note...ai ya the aunty just sacrificed ten fish balls

the teacher who cracked me up
there was this teacher who was super funny...he was like get into groups of aids(instead of eights)then i was like telling my friends how about the hiv and the contraceptive methods...ahahaha so funny...ok whatever..

i have been kinda depressed lately...my watch was lost...my grades are like shit..everything is just going against me and all...and the most hurtful thing is doing things that u put in so much effort in but no one gives a damn about it...i mean this is not the first time...this thing that i am involved in has brought me continuous heartaches and made me cry so many times until i am so immune to it....someone says that she sees the effort u put in and everything but oh well i think she doesnt...i tried so many times but does she recognises it..like no...its all rubbish...i tried so hard...give in all my best and its just not worth the effort..i am wasting my life man..i think i had enough of all her nonsense i just cant take it anymore..i guess the solution to all these is just to take my leave....i tried for two years..i almost gave up on the second but now i lost all my passion...effort is just all rubbish in this case...its just all talent..i experienced it before...as long as u have talent you dont attend it so often u still get in in the end...i guess i am just not suited for this....but i did have a few happy memories in the first year...its just over for me...

introduction and the tale of two deranged girls who are trying so hard to see their crush in his birthday suit...
aha!!i am back again and again and again...so just a question...who wants to watch disney on ice with me...i will most likely be watching it with JILLIAN!!!oh we both thinks this guy is super cute and we want to see him in a pair of speedos...he looks so cute with glasses on or off....he looks cute with or without a cap and we both came to a conclusion that he looks hot with clothes or in his birthday suit which means he is completely naked...hmmmmm....how we wish he could marry us both..we seriously dont mind sharing him and everything...that time we both were really bored because our surroundings were not really appealing...so we were stoning,pebbling,fossiling and like rocking..then suddenly our object of affection cum admiration entered through the door and was looking dashing and gorgeous as usual...whao i tell u we suddenly perked up and squealed. the people around us were like shocked and glared at us...we were transfixed for a moment...silence enveloped the whole room and we were immune to our surroundings...he was like an angel who emitted a blinding glow which lifted us high into the air and we felt as though we couldnt come back to earth....it was spell bounding and our knight in the shining amour finally appeared after 3 months!!!! my english is so chim haha...ok whatever.anyways he is really drop dead gorgeous and u should really look at him...i will sell my whole hello kitty collection to spend one day with him...and jillian doesnt mind selling her new bed to raise funds for 40 different kinds of speedos for him to try on and pose in...desperation drives us to lose our senses and become deranged...i hate that word for nuts sake but i am still it..jillian and i should join the speedos club man....

campus superstar!! and mum's stupid comment
geraldine see is so pretty and adorable...her eyes are so nice...and mine look like freaking melon seedsss...renfred is cute too!that time my mum told me"hey girl u know ur father and my dream is to see u on stage leading singspiration during service...."i was like i dont want...then she said"u ar...dont come and act like these people everyday dreaming of becoming a star and becoming famous!!i wont allow u to join SINGAPORE IDOL!!"i was like too bad the voice is mine...until u stuff chilli down my throat then will my voice be gone..my mum cant sing her voice is deafening..i realise that u can get in to like vjc choir if u have a good voice that is so cool...my teacher told me that...and choir is so boring...anyways i got to go now and admire my beautiful "SHAVEN LEGS".ITS SO SMOOTH AND SILKY EVEN THE CLOTH RUNS DOWN MY LEG LIKE A SLIPPERY SLOPE....bye for now....

extension because i realised that i admire my leg for one hour already...
that time i was like wrapped in my towel because i finished bathing and then i like came out of the bath room singing so loudly...i then realised that my window was wide open and there was this ah beng staring at me...i freaked out and ran to my brothers room...they still continue looking hoping that i will return and this time be completely naked...this is so embarrassing....i will bring clothes to the bath room from today onwardss....SHIT MY SELF...talking about shit....my brother had bad diahoerroea(wrong spelling)that day...he couldnt control and kinda soiled his pants..so he was in the toilet and all and his BIAN TAI friend who always follows him to the toilet sprung a suprise attack on my brother by standing on the toilet bowl and staring over his cubicle to look at my him!GAY CAN...WITH MY BROTHER...EWW...however this ime he became useful...my brother used him as a messenger to tell the teacher to get him a pair of pants...so the teacher passed the pants to a boy to pass it to my brother...so the boy was like"open up open uP!!i wanna help u"when my brother opened the door...the smell was so over bearing to the extend that the boy vormitted.....so in the end the teacher had to take care of 2 boys...i was laughing so hard can...puke boy told the teacher"IT WAS SO SMELLY THAT I COULD NOT TAKE IT"whatever...the boy should be named SISSY...and this stupid classmate of SHIT DUNG BOY(WHICH IS RUSS HOE MY BROHER)charged INTO THE TOILET BY SPRAYING COLONGE ALL over the cubicle...he nearly sprayed it onto my brothers face..so once again the toilet smelled tantalizing and all was well again...stay tuned to the next episode of RUSS HOE AND THE LEGENDS OF THE TALKING TOILETS...(this story is true ok it happened in the 2nd floor toilet of st andrew's primary school)i wanna go to that JC!!(anti climax and out of point)

i really gtg..bye for now

hold me in ur arms never let me go,
i wanna spend eternity with you.....